Product Review: Luckless Outfitters “It’s Not Going to Lick Itself” Ugly Christmas Sweater
At Luckless Outfitters, we believe the holidays are meant for joy, laughter, and saying things you absolutely should not say in polite company. That belief is wrapped up perfectly in our “It’s Not Going to Lick Itself” Ugly Christmas Sweater. Festive? Yes. Subtle? Absolutely not. This sweater exists to make people laugh, blush, and question why they invited you in the first place.
Featuring a classic ugly sweater pattern with reindeer, snowflakes, and a very suggestive candy cane, this design sneaks up on you. At first glance it looks wholesome and cozy. Then the words hit and suddenly the room gets real quiet. That is how you know it is working.
Made from a soft and comfortable fabric blend, this sweater is perfect for ugly sweater parties, holiday bar crawls, office parties that clearly needed better HR policies, and family gatherings where boundaries are already questionable. The fit is relaxed so you can eat, drink, and enjoy the chaos without feeling restricted. The high quality all over print holds up wash after wash, no matter how many times you wear it for shock value alone.
This funny ugly Christmas sweater makes an unforgettable gag gift, white elephant gift, or last minute holiday win for anyone who loves dirty jokes and festive vibes. Expect laughter, gasps, and at least one person saying oh my god while trying not to laugh.
At Luckless Outfitters, we specialize in apparel that lives rent free in people’s heads long after the holidays are over. The It’s Not Going to Lick Itself Sweater is bold, hilarious, and completely inappropriate in the best possible way. Grab yours today and make this Christmas one nobody forgets.
Fabric: Fur line (95% polyester and 5% spandex)
Care Instruction: machine wash cold with similar colors, do not bleach, tumble dry low, do not iron, do not dry clean.
Size Guide
| inch |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
5XL |
| Length |
25.6 |
26.4 |
27.6 |
28.3 |
29.5 |
29.9 |
31.1 |
32.3 |
33.5 |
| Sleeve |
26.0 |
26.4 |
26.8 |
27.2 |
27.6 |
28.0 |
28.0 |
28.3 |
28.7 |
| Bust |
36.2 |
40.2 |
44.1 |
48.0 |
52.0 |
55.9 |
59.8 |
63.8 |
67.7 |
| Shoulder |
15.4 |
16.5 |
17.7 |
18.9 |
20.1 |
21.3 |
22.4 |
23.6 |
24.8 |
| centimeter |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
5XL |
| Length |
65 |
67 |
70 |
72 |
75 |
76 |
79 |
82 |
85 |
| Sleeve |
66 |
67 |
68 |
69 |
70 |
71 |
71 |
72 |
73 |
| Bust |
92 |
102 |
112 |
122 |
132 |
142 |
152 |
162 |
172 |
| Shoulder |
39 |
42 |
45 |
48 |
51 |
54 |
57 |
60 |
63 |
